BOWLS & BEHAVIOUR – The Mystery of the Misplaced Mat & Jack

This week’s etiquette dilemma: if you forget to move the mat up after a lost end, and no one notices.
 a) Confess and play?

b)  Pretend you were testing a new tactic?

c)  Blame the wind?

Correct answer: All of the above. Bowlers are nothing if not adaptable.

Question of the week:
What happens when the jack is rolled into the ditch?
Answer: If it goes in untouched, it's re-delivered by the opposition. If it is touched by a bowl and stays within the rink, it is live, play on.

YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED.

Q: Is it okay to talk to your bowl as it is running?

A: It is not only okay — it is expected—bonus points for hand gestures.

Q: Can I bowl in trainers?

A: Yes — as long as they are flat-soled and not the ones you last used for painting the shed.

Q: What if I forget which hand I usually use to bowl?

A: It is lawn bowls. We have all done that. Try both and see which hurts less.

HEARD ON THE GREEN
“Well, at least it reached.”

“Too narrow? I prefer ‘ambitiously tight.’”

“That’s not the line I was aiming for, but it’s the one we’ve got now.”

“It’s short — but it’s an honest short.”

“That line was perfect. The weight, however, was from another postcode.”

“It’s your bowl.” “No, it isn’t.” “Well, it’s going to be if it ends up counting.”

FINAL END
With sunshine, surprise draws, and questionable mats, this week proved yet again that there is never a dull moment when bowling.
With league points stacking up and the social events reaching legendary status, Marine Gardens continues on a Roll.
Until next time, keep your head down, your weight right, and stay
“ON THE JACK.”

THIS WEEK ON THE GREEN – Club News and Activities.
Marine Gardens Bowling Club – Weekly Report (Week Ending Sunday, 22nd June 2025)  By Alan Paterson, Press Officer.

Following last week’s spirited victory over Middleton in the WSBL, Marine Gardens carried that momentum forward with another commendable win—this time against Witterings. On a day marked by focused play and fine margins, our bowlers secured a 3 rinks to 1 triumph and a 68–52 shot advantage, notching up a well-earned 8–2 points result.

Leading the charge was the formidable quartet of Bob Cole, John Nettleingham, Perry Cairns, and skip Ivan Godsmark, whose confident, constructive interaction produced an outstanding 24–10 win. The remaining rinks delivered closely contested performances, each with margins no greater than 3 shots—a testament to the tenacity and composure of our members. Congratulations to all who held firm and saw it through.

Unfortunately, the anticipated fixture against Horsham had to be called off due to an ‘excessive heat’ warning. Sensible and responsible—sometimes, health must take priority over competition.

Closing out the week on a sociable note, Pat Hogan orchestrated a friendly encounter against his former club, West Harrow Community BC. The visitors brought both heart and flair, resulting in an even 2–2 split across the rinks. Yet, it was Marine Gardens who edged out a win with a narrow 72–67 shot lead.

The standout performance came from the redoubtable rink of Anne Knight, Betty Stevenson, and Wendy Wilson, who emphatically dispatched an all-male team with a commanding 23–7 finish—surely the defining factor in the final result. A resounding hats-off to them!

Thank you to everyone who contributed to the smooth running and warm spirit of this fixture. We look forward to welcoming West Harrow again in the not-too-distant future.