Welcome to "On the Jack" Blog Post #7
Ah, the Skip — part tactician, part magician, part agony aunt. Whether they are striding down the green like Napoleon at Waterloo or waving their arms like a man trying to land a plane in a wind tunnel, the Skip is the mysterious force that steers our bowls… and occasionally our sanity.
This week, we look behind the finger-pointing, line-calling, and “just draw to it” mumblings to explore what goes on in the mind of a skip.
📖 Read it now:
On the Jack – Blog Post #7: “Skips, Slips and Strategic Shenanigans”
The Skip’s Toolkit (Actual and Imagined)
Being a skip requires:
An ability to look confident while having no idea what just happened.
A sixth sense for knowing when the opposition is lying about how many they are holding.
The memory of an elephant — “Remember End 4? You played a perfect trail off Jean’s backhand.”
And, crucially, a loud voice that cuts through wind, heckling, and the odd dog barking from the park.
Optional accessories include:
Lucky hat (unwashed since 2012).
Pencil tucked behind the ear (never writes).
That one bowl that’s “a bit temperamental” but still gets used on big ends.
Skip Psychology
Let us break down the emotional journey of your average skip during a match:
Hope – “This could be our end.”
Mild concern – “Hmm. Bit wide.”
Urgency – “Need to change something here.”
Desperation – “Just trail the jack. Just… trail… the… jack!”
Acceptance – “We were never winning that one.”
Motivation – “Let’s make the next one count, team!”
Bonus: Skips also carry the burden of being blamed when things go wrong and are expected to fix it with one bowl. It is like being asked to patch a sinking boat with chewing gum — and being yelled at for not using spearmint.
Top 5 Skip Sayings – Translated
You have probably heard these:
1. “Just rest it out.”
🟢 Translation: You have a one-in-a-million shot of feathering the edge of that bowl and landing perfectly on the jack. Good luck.
2. “Don’t be short.”
🟢 Translation: I have no idea what weight you need, but I know that was not it.
3. “Turn it in.”
🟢 Translation: Apply physics. Gently. Backhand. Somehow.
4. “We’re holding second.”
🟢 Translation: We are not but let us keep morale up.
5. “Just draw it.”
🟢 Translation: There is a two-inch window between disaster and glory. Be brave.
When It All Goes Wrong… Gloriously
We have all witnessed those classic skip moments:
Calling for a wide draw and watching it head for the next rink.
Forgetting to move a bowl and sending it flying during the delivery.
Giving noticeably confident hand signals only to realise it was their opponent’s bowl.
Walking confidently to check the head… only to find they had been watching the wrong rink for three ends
(We have even heard of a skip who sent his bowl with such passion it knocked over a club chair sitting behind the rink. We are not saying he should be in the Olympics… but discus might suit.)
Your Questions Answered: Ask the Skip
Q: “Why does my skip always tell me to use ‘more green’?”
A: It is because your bowl has been so tight that it nearly came back and bit your heel. More green means more room for forgiveness — and fewer gasps from the clubhouse veranda.
Q: “Skip, can I wear trainers?”
A: Only if they are white, squeaky clean, and you are prepared to be judged by Jill.
Final End
The skip may not always be right, but they are rarely boring. They shoulder the pressure, call the plays, and give that knowing nod when it almost worked.
So next time your skip gives you the “just rest it off the backhand and trail it two inches into the jack” speech — smile, nod, and give it your best shot.
After all, it is just another day “On the Jack”.
This week on the Green
Alan Paterson, Press Officer – Club News and Activities.
Marine Gardens Bowling Club, report w/ending Sunday, 1st June 2025.
Our journey in the PC Cup competition was brief, as we encountered a formidable Chichester side on their superb green. Despite our best efforts, we fell to a decisive 3-1 defeat in rinks, with an overall shot score of 90-47 in Chichester’s favour. The sole victory for Marine Gardens came from Bob Cole, John Nettleingham, Perry Cairns, and Skip Ivan Godsmark, who fought hard to secure a 16-9 win. The warm hospitality and excellent refreshments provided by our hosts were a small consolation for the result.
Back on home ground, Marine Gardens rebounded with an impressive performance in a friendly match against Rottingdean, securing wins on four rinks and splitting honours on the fifth. Leading the charge were Brian Saunders, Pat Hogan, and Skip Tim Baldwin, earning Top Rink honours with a commanding 25-12 victory.
The WSBL fixture against Maltravers saw a competitive contest, with each club taking two rinks apiece. However, Maltravers edged ahead on shot advantage, claiming a 76-61 overall score and walking away with six of the ten available points. Standout performances came from Terry Ashley, Dave Barlow, Tim Baldwin, and Skip James Albon, delivering a superb 23-8 rink win for Marine Gardens.
Worthing arrived at Marine Gardens with determination, looking to avenge an earlier season defeat in the Stracey Shield league. They managed to turn the tables, winning three of the four rinks—including two by the narrowest of margins—securing an overall 64-57 victory. Worthing claimed eight points, while Marine Gardens picked up two. Notable contributions came from Helen Stirling, John Nettleingham, David Barlow, and Skip Bob Cole, who triumphed 22-8 on their rink.
Although the week presented its challenges, the club displayed resilience, bouncing back with strong performances and maintaining a competitive spirit. Here is to continued improvement and success in the upcoming fixtures!
