Measuring etiquette is an art form:

• ✅ Always ask first.

• ✅ Only measure if it is close (no need to measure if it is six inches wide and your eyes are just hopeful).

• ✅ Keep your shadow off the bowls – or prepare to hear about it. Repeatedly.

• ✅ If both bowls are ‘equal,’ simply declare a tide end and retreat for tea.

(Yes, someone did bring a tape measure from their toolbox once. No, it did not end well.)

🧢 CLUB CHARACTERS – THE UNOFFICIAL UMPIRE

Every club has one:

• Sees every jack-length error from 30 paces

• Owns three measures – and does not trust any of them

• Wears a cap that reads “It’s Not Biased If I Say It”

A legend, a stickler, and often… entirely right. Which somehow makes it worse.

❓ YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED

Q: Can both teams measure?

A: Yes – if you like your ends to last until Thursday.

Q: What happens if the jack is knocked into the ditch?

A: If it was touched first by a bowl, it remains live – but it may sulk there for the rest of the end.

🗣️ HEARD ON THE GREEN

“That’s not short – its defensive.”
“Measure it? I do not need to – I have the eyes of a kestrel.”
“Final score? Drawn rinks, drawn laughter, and only one broken measure (we are blaming Graham).

Most Impressive End: A five-shot swinger in the 14th, turning despair into delight – and inspiring Bob to suggest we “should play from behind more often.”

🧁 FINAL END
From the moment the mat goes down to the last bowl resting inches from glory, the game is made of moments.

Some loud, some quiet, some measured to the millimetre. All worth remembering.

Stay steady, stay social, and above all, stay “On the Jack.”

THIS WEEK ON THE GREEN – Club News and Activities

Weekly Report – Week Ending Sunday, 20th July 2025
By Alan Paterson, Press Officer

It was a week of narrow margins and hard-fought battles across Brodie and WSBL fixtures, with fortunes just shy of where we would have liked them to land.

🎳 Brodie League:
Marine Gardens met Worthing in a tightly contested match, but slipped to defeat on 3 rinks to 1, with an overall shot difference of just two (60-62). Despite the loss, a resounding 21-9 win by our superb pair’s duo, David Barlow and James Albon, ensured we avoided the dreaded whitewash and earned a modest 2 points.

🎯 WSBL vs Petworth:
A home encounter against Petworth saw us nudge up to 3 points, thanks to a spirited effort across the board. Although we lost 2 rinks to 1 with one halved, Top Rink honours were claimed by Les Gritton, Alan Paterson, Nick Sinden, and Tim Baldwin who delivered a commanding 19-10 victory. The final shot tally? A near dead heat—Petworth edged us out 62-60.

🏆 Centenary Bowl – First Leg vs Horsham:
In the first leg of the prestigious Centenary Bowl, Marine Gardens narrowly missed the mark, going down 82-76 across 5 rinks. There is still everything to play for in the return leg! Notable performers in this round were Gerry Perch, Pamela Chambers, David Barlow, and Bob Cole, who claimed a solid 18-12 win to keep hopes alive.

📅 Captain’s Day – Coming Soon:
Do not forget our eagerly awaited Captain’s Day on 2nd August. Expect an enjoyable afternoon of bowls, camaraderie, tasty refreshments, and a worthy chance to support Captain Bob’s chosen charity—RNLI.

👕A Touch of Style:
And last but not least, the real showstopper of the week? Ivan, debuting his dazzling new club shirt. Bright, bold, and unmistakably Marine Gardens. The fashion bar has officially been raised